Motherhood: The Struggle is Real…or Not

My mom made my life easy and I am very blessed to have the mom that I have. She took great care of me and I never lacked for anything. My two sisters feel the same way, and I am sure I speak for them when I say that our mom is everything to us.

From an early age, through my drama teen years, my missing in action 20s, my 30s as a career woman and new mom, up until now in my rocking 40s, she has continuously and constantly offered me love, patience, support, and respect for everything that I am and everything that I do.

My sisters and I demanded a lot from her (as kids usually do) and she always gave and gave. She was there offering us her hand every time, implementing her wise knowledge, and lending us her courage. Yet, I never once glimpsed her struggling through motherhood in all of our different stages, in fact, she made it look easy-breezy.

Which is what I thought I had in store for me when I became a mother, but after mothering for exactly 12 years and 3 months, I have learned that motherhood is not easy.

As a matter of fact, not only is it not easy, it is hard, it is un-defined, it is challenging, it is a sanity tester, it is draining, it is bittersweet, it will tear your heart into a million different pieces, crush your soul, and make you feel like you can’t move forward at times.

And the thing is, I am positive my mother went through all these intense emotions, all the ups and downs, yet mothering never crumbled her, and that is precisely one of the biggest gifts she has given us.

You see while being a mother is hard on the heart, the mind and the body, it’s also the best-darned job and pure gold for the soul.

A job that not only provides us with the most valuable learnings and experience in life, but a job that builds inner strength, self-awareness, and a sense of achievement. As moms, we give and sacrifice a lot but the rewards are tenfold. And just when we think we are a Mother Goddess and we have this whole mothering thing down pat, life throws us another curveball. The plot suddenly twists, the paths and directions change, up is no longer up, right is no longer right, and we’re left wondering whether these are our same kids.

That’s what motherhood is all about, it’s full of phases. Positive and negative phases our kids go through which directly impact us and add a deeper dimension to our lives, thus allowing us to grow and become stronger.

As one Rocking Over 40 reader eloquently said, “motherhood required a new version of myself with each phase my children went through. Once they grew up, all those versions of myself came together to create the woman I was always meant to be” –  Dori Cameron Ortman.

With 2 kids of my own, I can appreciate that the struggle was real for my mom but she handled it all with such grace and ease. When I look at my 75-year old mom today, I see her content, proud of us, and at peace, but mainly, I see the beautiful butterfly she has become. I hope to follow in her steps always.

Happy Mother’s Day!